Lazy Day in Bani Gala

Not much luck with our travel plans in Pakistan at the moment: The trip to Shanduur in the North to the oldest Polo Festival, which apparently was invented there and then refined by a British named Polo in the 19th century had to be canceled because of security concerns. Karachi with its killings of more than one hundred people within three days does not seem to be the perfect vacation spot either.

An invitation to spend a day with an incredibly charming journalist and her equally successful friend at her beautiful country estate in Bani Gala (a settlement on the Western bank of Rawal Lake) brings a welcomed change to the hot streets of Islamabad - and an interesting conversation about life of single women in Pakistan. No desire to get married and both in their forties, they find it difficult to be in a relationship with a man without legal status. The Pakistani society does not accept that. 

Even today, most of the marriages are arranged by the parents, preferably within the larger family (more than 60% and 80% of them between first cousins) and it appears to be accepted across all social groups. Marriage is seen more as a union of two families rather than simply between two individuals.

One wonders though about the many wonderful poetic tales, many dating back to ancient times, speaking of tragic love, broken hearts and chosen death over promised marriages...

But due to their age and career achievements, these two women I spend the day with in Bani Gala have an accepted position in society and feel happy not having to depend on a man. Being financially independent, living in the city and being part of the elite of the society, they enjoy a wide range of freedom, although not quite comparable to women in Western societies. The family and relatives will also set some limits. These ties are very powerful and most single women live with their relatives - luckily, families are very big, so there is no shortage of relatives to live with. The closely knitted and large family net is considered a blessing and the limits it sets to ones personal life are generally accepted. Kinship is the most important force in the Pakistani society and it is also reflected in the political system of the country.

The way of a woman's life varies dramatically,  depending on where she lives, on religion, social and economical standing, education and knowledge.  

Easy availability of staff (cook, housekeeper, babysitter, driver, gardener), makes it possible for women to pursue a career and have a family at the same time, raising often three or more children.

Hina Rabbani Khar was sworn in as the new Foreign Minister of Pakistan this week. At the age of 34 she is not only the youngest but also the first woman to hold this position. She is articulate and well educated and holds a postgraduate degree from the University of Massachussetts. She followed in the footsteps of her father, who had to abandon his political career when in 2002 a new law required election candidates to hold a college degree, which he did not have. Her family's political influence in the area, her father being a big landowner in Punjab province, helped or probably enabled her fast raise to political power. The influence and power of some families is broadly accepted. She is also considered and promoted as a fresh look, young and photogenic as she is, as a softer image of Pakistan abroad. The elements of her political career are very typical for the country. 

Heading back to Islamabad I pass through the village and discover some useful places.

Should you run out of time, patience or ideas, here is the perfect caterer to contact: "Service of Gulam Abbassy - offering Punjabi meals or any kind of food, to be ordered for special occasions! If you want to have other kind of arrangements, like music or meetings, it can be organized as well. Telephone number 0092 344 664 37 73."

Waiting for a cooler hour of the day to submit orders might be advisable!

The opening of a new pool billiard room brings new pleasures for passing the time - for men only, but after my Pakistani friend kindly asked, we are allowed to enter for a moment and even take a picture. The heat allows limited activities only and this is a perfect way of spending time pleasurably. Men seem to have a very playful side - on the way home I pass a playground in full action with no child, but with many happy men on the swings and rocking horses!

Unfortunately there is no more time for taking the measures for a dress made on the spot by the local tailor - next time...

I am leaving Pakistan for a longer summer break and will be back with new posts in September - have a wonderful summer!